We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
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