need another drink. this is the easiest way
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
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