Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
