Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
