In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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