We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
