yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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