everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Randomize
