I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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