Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he puts the penis in happiness.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
