I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
