I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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