Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
