everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
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