every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
