Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
