hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
