I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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