She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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