I would go down on you faster than GM stock
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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