she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
This beer is not sobering me up at all
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
