Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
well you can't waste a boner
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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