I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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