if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
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