He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
