My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i love accidental penises.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Randomize
