She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
