I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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