I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
