New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
