is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
