dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
