He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
