I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
