we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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