You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
