Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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