dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
