But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
