is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
