I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
