remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
