Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
