Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
They took my balls.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
