People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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