Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
