i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
