Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Please, let me fuck your mom
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
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