girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
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