Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
