Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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